The Narcissus Masquerade

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes…

Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

Paul Laurence Dunbar

Last night, I could not sleep as I was up thinking for hours upon hours. There was a resounding question in my spirit: “Why is it that so many of us are making strides to order our steps, yet, our blessings/breakthroughs/deliverance can’t “find” us?” As I sat there, I came up with a resolve within myself as to what may be a cause to this delay, if you will. These blessings bring a truth, seeking a truth.

Many of our blessings can’t find us because we are in a state of identity theft and/or identity crisis. I think we live in a society, if not world, that condone masks that we both create and accept. Masks that don’t necessarily always fit who we really are deep down inside. Something I am learning is that it is easy to wear masks when nobody around you cares enough to know if you are wearing one or not.  In  return, we find ourselves enthralled by the masks/identities we create.

This delusion becomes a reflection of truth that we admire day in and day out. So, essentially we condition ourselves– and others around us– to believe in this warped reflection of truth. A reality that can only be conceived within our own heads. A reality that, after a while, forms a system that builds facade upon facade. Many of us insert ourselves in complex situations that require us to mask one thing on top of another on top of the next.

No one dares to say anything about the many elephants in the room. No one mentions the persons not invited to the ball: life can be a masquerade and you must assume everyone has come dressed for the festivities. So, no, no one utters a word our of fear that the persons attached to their person will, too, be revealed as unwanted guests.

However, an initial fear of a truth revealed ends up being the death of a new dawning as the masquerade comes to a close. We move towards a reality that is only revealed when we turn the knife on self and begin to peel away each mask layer-by-layer, revealing the gift that for so long we were taught to dress up. You immediately feel the weights of all the masks lifting from who you have always been: good and perfect. Everything is a good and perfect gift from God. We just have to reject the masks that comes along with the invitation to the ball. There is no grander entrance than the entrance of truth!

Let the festivities begin!

With Peace & Love,

Jonas T. Cottingham

Sunflower Dreams

“I always knew He would come for me. Every time things got too rough, I knew the Sun would shine one day.” — Jonas T. Cottingham

In the darkest nights of your life you often learn some of the most profound and enlightening lessons. It seems as though I find myself in systemic approach of daily messages; they all seem to be connected, leading to a greater message: FAITH. As a result, I am learning that there are many components and postures of faith. Over the past two weeks, I have been mediating on all these smaller messages. It’s almost as if I could hear in my spirit to search out an affinity where Faith is concerned.

A week ago, I found this affinity in a field of Sunflowers. There were so many smaller components that made up these–at first glance– awkward flowers. The beauty of the varied colors; the layers of the petals, the length and poise of its stem. I realized that all of these were similar to the messages I had downloaded in my spirit over the past few weeks: Love, strength, beauty, and posture.

I was challenged to seek out a place within that removed all the limits life had attached to my Faith. This was a familiar place I had established a long time ago. Somehow the last five years had compromised this faith. Let down after let down pushed me further into a place of doubt and resolve in my place of complacency. As I pieced all the messages together, I realized what the Sunflowers were speaking to me about faith.

All the answers for this place I find myself in run parallel with my consistent faith. It is simple, yet, so profound that every day, no matter the stance, a Sunflower finds itself following the energy of the sun. It literally tracks the sun; seeks out any light to be found. I immediately found an affinity with this fact on my search for truth. I feel desperate for truth, peace and light. It is something I have decided to seek out on a daily basis. To be honest, some days I succeed at this and some days I fail miserably.

On days when I fall short of this faith, I’m reminded that my faith is built on nothing less than security and assurance that there is always a rising Sun in the east. I think back on the lowest days of my life up to this point, and I remember that there was never a time He didn’t come for me.  I’m reminded to always follow a light even when those moments are challenged by the darkest moments of the night. I always knew He would come for me. Every time things got too rough, I knew the Sun would shine one day. I may not have known all the answers to the questions that would lead to my deliverance, but I knew He would surely come for me. Somehow I find myself postured in this light of Faith: “He WILL come for me; no matter what…no matter where!”

 

With Peace & Love,

Jonas T. Cottingham

Freedom Writes

Dayton, Ohio,

 

August 7, 1865

To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy,—the folks call her Mrs. Anderson,—and the children—Milly, Jane, and Grundy—go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams’s Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve—and die, if it come to that—than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,

Jourdon Anderson.

Empty Prayers

Yesterday evening, I found myself winding down from my day in deep thought about how far I’ve come since relocating to Atlanta 5 years ago. It wasn’t long before I realized I was in a deep place of meditation which led to prayer. These words escaped:

Dear God:

My one desire is that you use me. Lord, use me. I’m like a vacant motel: all used up. I’m tainted in many ways and bruised from the long winters that have beaten me down many times. Trauma after trauma has left me scarred in places seen and unseen. God, If you just look beyond this rugged cross and grace me once again to lay Your presence on me; let your blood flow over me and cleanse me with your spirit. Make me over.

I may be a bit worn and I may not have all that I used to have, but I can finally say that You are all I ever needed and everything I ever wanted. I’m vacant. I’m available for use. Use me up until there is nothing left for me on this side of life. Try me again, Father. This time I pray from an empty place. These are my empty prayers. Empty of every selfish desire. Empty of the motivation of fame and fortune. Empty of ME.

My desire now is that you come in and occupy my life. Come live in everything that I do and say. I have inspected every motive, every high place, every exalted conscious, and every imagination. I have expanded my territory again, and this time it is for YOU and not for material gain. I have enlarged my heart and mind to receive Your will. I not only welcome you, but I implore you to come dwell within.

Thank you, Father for calling me to a year of self-evaluation that allowed me to pack-up things in my life that were occupying space without kingdom petitions. Box-by-box I have emptied out the chambers of my heart of every soul tie that once hindered and/or impeded Kingdom movement in my life.

My life’s storage is open and I’m available to you!

Amen.

Illuminate Your Mind

The conscience of the world is so guilty that it always assumes that people who investigate heresies must be heretics; just as if a doctor who studies leprosy must be a leper. Indeed, it is only recently that science has been allowed to study anything without reproach.  -Aleister Crowley

 

Today, I sparked a few interesting questions to a few friends of mine during my lunch break. These questions all surrounded the ever-popular discussion of The Illuminati. Now while The Illuminati and/or Freemasonry is not something that has emerged in recent years, it has become more and more acceptable to discuss this topic in general settings. I have witnessed these conversations at the dinner table, the office, and even the salon.

Thanks to the unbridled tongues of 21st century pop culture and the untiring efforts of media propaganda, we have been influenced by a wealth of alleged Illuminati signs and their occult symbolism. What has all this really done to our society? How can we benefit from this grand exposure of something seemingly so dark and often demure?

Because I am not afraid to launch out into the deep, I understand that my purpose in life is to defend and administer the good news to people every chance that I get using any medium. Along with this purpose comes a demand to seek Truth and Light in all things. Even those things that, if you will, only about 15% of an elite group of people are privy to understanding.

Can you imagine a light that constantly hides herself from the darkness where she would get the most usage? Can you imagine a Truth so burdened that it forever allows the lie to win the race?

 This is what happens when we become takers of the words of men/women without daring to consider our innate ability and right to constantly seek out the Light where other forces (media/political dogma/propaganda) would love to establish and maintain a boxed society ruled by fear of the unknown. A fear so impermeable that nothing or no one could ever get through.

Rest assured, this blog entry is not supporting any side other than the pursuit of Truth. Your truth! Whatever that may be today, tomorrow and forevermore. However, I believe in the harmony of Man, God & Nature (often represented by the triangle). I do believe that even pop culture and speculations of organizations such as The Illuminati, can and should communicate something greater to the minds of people who proclaim to have “Greater” within them.

Yes; there is an elite group of people who are more enlightened than others who will lead the world into its next dimension. Yes; this movement may bring about a “new world order.”  All of that can stand to be true, but is God so small that we should belittle His powers so easily and say this is satanic? What is truly against the will of God is that believers will sit passively on the sidelines as the world taps into an executive right that believers should be leading themselves. Until your faith is confronted, you never have a chance to come face-to-face with its power. You never really embrace the bigness of God. In our most inclusive and charismatic expression of who He is, we still barely brush the surface of all that She encompasses.

We have been called to illuminate the darkness of propaganda regarding what the world thinks of the God YOU say is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. If your God can’t be found in all things, then surely, He is too small for a world so far out of the box. It now owns the box.  Any mind locked inside a box is susceptible to corruption and autonomy.

Illuminate your mind; WAKE UP!

 

With Peace & Love,

Jonas T. Cottingham